Honestly Real

I’m weary of being expected to be perfect and neat. 

Because I am a Christian and trying to follow hard after Christ, you seem to think I SHOULD be perfect. 

Nothing could be further from the truth! 

My heart is dark, just like yours. 

My life is sometimes messy, just like yours.

The only difference is, I’m willing to cast off the pride that so easily wraps it’s tentacles around us, and ADMIT I need a Savior!

I struggle day to day, with trying to overcome my flaws and insecurities, just like anyone else.

I think people have a misconception of the Christian life. Of Christians, themselves. 

And perhaps that is our fault. 

We have struggles, but we don’t want to make Jesus look bad, so we HIDE our struggles. 

Although perhaps a noble intention, I believe we have done more damage than good!

I believe we have a hurting, spiritually dying world out there that needs the Truth- that life is NOT perfect, that’s why we NEED a Perfect Savior!

People are miserable.

Just be honest and admit it. 

You may have a few emotional highs when life “appears” to be going well- but then it all comes crashing down. 

How do I know?

Because it is the reality that we are ALL facing, living in a fallen world!!!

It’s so tempting to keep our eyes and on that, and let our hearts and minds be seduced by bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness and hate. 

I know. I daily battle that.

But that’s the difference.

CHRIST is the difference!

Yes, our world has become a cesspool of perversion and filth. 

BUT WE DON’T HAVE TO STAY THERE!

We can be IN the world, but not OF the world.

We can stand back and allow the Savior, Who died for our treacherous, unloyal, messed up souls, to fight our battles, OR we can try to fight them ourselves, and lose!

And along the way, reap destruction, broken relationships, insecurities, depression and pain.

No, the world isn’t all roses for Christians. 

I have a big, loud mouth (as many of you well know!). 

That is the product of my own poor choices and the travesty done to me by others. 

When you have physically been captive and in bondage at the hands of others, you soon learn your voice is the only thing you have to wield. 

And so, you use it. 

Being strong and opinionated are considered assets in this world. Especially as women. 

If that’s the case, I have rooms full of assets!

But I have learned they are worthless, empty idols.

I HAVE been jaded by this world.

Broken, bruised.

But what has made me PASSIONATE about Jesus Christ, is that He LOVES the broken and bruised. 

He already KNOWS how dark and messed up our minds, our hearts, are.. yet He loves us anyways! 

Why???? Why or how could He love us???!!

Because HE IS Goodness. 

He is your Creator.

Do YOU stop loving YOUR son or daughter, even after they disobey or go against you?

Of course not! Not if you truly love them.

They may hurt your heart, but you still love them.

HOW MUCH MORE, then, does the One Who MADE your heart, and it’s capacity to love YOUR child- be able to love YOU?

Think about that. 

You know you don’t deserve God’s grace.

I know I sure don’t!

NONE of us do.

That’s the incredible, simple beauty of it.

We think we are too blackened by sin for God to accept us. 

Satan and his demons constantly whisper in our ears that we can’t be good enough FOR God, so then we must be AGAINST God- because He MUST be against us.

Ah, that age old lie.

That he repeats from generation to generation.

Well, I am living proof that that is a lie straight from Hell itself.

If Jesus Christ picked ME up and loves me, He will love ANYONE!!

But don’t take my word, take HIS!

He says, “Come to Me, ALL YOU who are weary and heavy-laden, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.”

He treated thieves, prostitutes, people caught in adultery and worse- with gentleness, dignity and respect. He let them know He saw their sin, but He still loved and valued them!

He opens His arms and offers a new life, even though no one deserves it. 

How can you not love such a Man??!!

Even though I am unworthy and broken- Jesus is the Desire of my heart. 

I just wish everyone could find that Home.

Am I going to fail you? Yes, probably.

Just like your going to probably fail me.

Most have.

Most always will.

Because as long as we are alive in this world, the flesh is a constant companion that we must crucify, daily.

There is only ONE Who is Good.

Only One Who will NOT fail you or I.

His Name is Yeshua. Jesus the Christ.

Living Water

Wow.. as I sit here typing these words to you, I am in awe of how much time has gone by since my last post!!
When I last wrote, my Matthew was eight years old.. he is now almost eighteen!
Gabriel, the "baby".. is now almost eleven!
I am so shocked that so much time has gone by. So many things have changed.
I have loved. I have lost. I have gained.
I still struggle with my health, but I have grown in the Lord enough that I know that these trials and pains are but a moment in time, compared with unending joy that Christ has promised for those that belong to Him, in Eternity in the near future.
So in truth, how can I truly complain?
I take comfort in knowing that someday I will no longer remember physical or emotional pain.
It will fade away forever, once I see His Face.

Because of Christ's great mercy, I am in a better place as far as getting back to "me".
With so much trauma, starting at age three, it has been an incredibly long and often painful journey.
I have cried, screamed and ultimately questioned my value to Jesus.
But after all these 10 years, I am certain of one thing more than any other..
Jesus Christ is REAL. He is ALIVE. And He is FAITHFUL.
When all else fades away- all the glitter and distractions.. He is all that remains.
And for that, I am so humbled, so thankful.
He is all I need. All I want. He is all any of us need, and deep in our heart, all we want. 
That's why we are always on a quest to be happy, to be filled. 
Because we ARE hollow at our core.
We have a Jesus-sized hole that only He can fill.

So come.. I invite you.
Come, be filled and be satisfied by the Lover of your soul. 
The One Who made you, Who formed you into the beautiful human being you are.
He is the Wellspring!
Come, drink from the Everlasting Fountain of Water.
Let Him nourish, hydrate and permanently fill your weary soul, as only He can.❤

Jesus answered and said to her, 'If you knew the Gift of God, and Who it is that said to you, Give Me to drink; you would have asked of Him, and He would have given you Living Water."

The woman said to Him, "Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from where then have You that Living Water?
 Are You greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank there himself, and his children, and his cattle?"
 Jesus answered and said to her, "Whosoever drinks of this water shall thirst again:
But whosoever drinks of the Water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the Water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of Water springing up into everlasting Life."
 The woman said to Him, "Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not.."
(John 4:9-15)

Broken Cross.. the Meaning of the Peace Sign.

The Broken Cross

by: Arlene Michelle





I am amazed at how all of a sudden over the last couple of years the "peace sign" is everywhere you look. It's all over clothing and accessories; even little kids' clothing and jewelry is decorated with it. People of all ages wear "peace sign" jewelry. If you go to Craig's List their logo is a peace sign, and it's on decorative items for your home...we all probably see it hundreds of times a day. It's more popular than it was in the 70s!

But hey, it's all about "peace," right? Nothing wrong with that...or is there?

I'm old enough to remember when it first became popular. I had just started working at the Coca Cola Bottling Company of NY, and my boss - the president of the company - was a devout Catholic. Coca Cola was offering banded merchandise to consumers; I don't recall if it was for outright sale, if you had so collect bottlecaps or what, but there were several items to choose from. One was a T-shirt with the company's logo, but each "O" had been replaced with a peace sign.

Well, one day we received a letter from someone who was a Christian, explaining the meaning of the symbol: the inverted (Satanic) cross, the arms broken (signifying that Jesus' power was broken), and the inclusion within a circle (in witchcraft, things contained within a circle are within "Satan's circle of power").

It was created to mock the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, although most are unaware of its origins.

He no sooner read the letter and checked the facts, then ordered all the shirts be destroyed. (Aside: The man has since died; I pray he truly knew the real Jesus before it was too late.)

The Broken Cross has Pagan roots, being the inverse of the Pythagorean symbol for life and Teutonic rune of death, and is vogue with Wiccans and Satanists. It can represent the antithesis of all that Christianity stands for.

Some see breaking a cross as a way to protest against Christianity. An example of this has been witnessed in recent years in Armenia (see Khachkar Cross).

The Broken Cross has been called a Neronic Cross or Nero's Cross in recognition of Nero's attempt to suppress the rise of Christianity (see St. Peter's Cross). It seems illogical to connect a symbol of Christianity to people opposed to the religion, albeit inverted and broken, but labelling this as Nero's Cross has found its way into reference books and no doubt will continue to mean different things to different people. (See The Meaning of the Christian Cross)


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Either Holtom or Russell chose the Teutoneronic) cross as the appropriate symbol for their cause. According to some sources, it was conceived by placing the signs N and D (for Nuclear Disarmament) from the international marine flag signalling system on top of each other, and circumscribing the combination with a circle. In its present form, it was initially used as a rallying sign at the 1958 demonstration against Aldermaston (a British research center for the development of nuclear weapons). The boomers picked it up from there, and used it as their "peace sign" throughout the late 60s and into the 70s.

However, over the last 2,000 years, a symbol much like the 60s peace sign symbolized hatred of Christians. Roman leader Nero, who allegedly despised Christians, crucified the Apostle Peter on a cross, head downward. This event resembled the Teutonic cross and became a popular pagan insignia of the day. Thereafter, this sign became known as the 'Neronic cross.'

Occult believer Albert Pike also identifies this symbol as mystical in his book on Freemasonry Morals and Dogma.


The peace sign is also tied to the mystic character for 'Aum' (the split 'Y'). This is a sacred word to the Hindu. Chanting 'Aum' is supposed to help awaken 'the serpent power of Brahma' at the base of the human spine.


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It's like Jeremiah foretold: 'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace.'
Everyone is calling for peace in the world, and they're selling out their liberties to get it.

Little do most of them realize, there will be no peace until the Prince of Peace sets up His reign.

1 Th. 5:3: " While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. "

Much to Lose..

Happy (belated!) Valentine's Day!!

I hope everyone had a special day! Mine certainly was!! Matthew gave me a beautiful card and gift. I was so honored and blessed. It was the best Valentine's Day I have ever had.

I am so blessed to have my sons. They are my pride and joy!

I read something a man in the news said, about the recent plane crash, that really stood out. He was speaking about his family, and reflecting about the tragedy of the crash. He said, 'Thank God, that I have so much to lose!'

That is just really profound to me. I mean, it's stated simply.. yet conveys so much. If we didn't have much, then what would it hurt to lose? But when God gives you so much, like family, you realize what a treasure you have. And how much you would lose, if you lost them.

So many people lost their loved ones in that crash. Husbands, wives, mothers, fathers.. and the list goes on. Wow. It really makes you sooo thankful that your family is still here, to love. How often we take for granted, those closest to us! I am guilty of it too. Not intentionally. But it happens. I think as humans, it's a natural thing to easily 'get used to', the people that are around us alot. They are just so embedded into our lives, our world, that we just expect them to always be there. But there is no promise of that. We have no promise of a tomorrow, ourselves.

Only Jesus Christ, is steadfast and constant. And He alone, is the giver of our family. He has given us the privilege and honor, to love them, nurture them, encourage them.. treasure them, while we are on this earth. What a privilege, indeed!

So, we reeeeally need to stop and look at those closest to us. Are we doing a good job of loving them? Are we sure they know that we appreciate them, and the things they do for us? Why don't we try to go the extra mile, and make sure they know?! The next time they get ready to walk out the door to go to work, or the grocery store, tell them you love them. Tell them that you thank God for them!

That way, no matter what happens while they are away from us.. they know that our love is with them.

I just praise the Lord for my Family! I love them so much, and I will eternally be thankful that God honored me, with them.

This Too, Shall Pass

I suffer from a severe form of Fibromyalgia. Among other health problems, that is. At days the pain/weakness/sickness is so bad, that I have to stay in bed until early or late afternoon. I have to take prescription pain medication all day, every day. I take the only medicine made especially for Fibromyalgia. In fact, I am on the highest dose there is. My insurance company will not pay for the full amount I am prescribed, because the FDA does not even approve someone to have that much. It's crazy. But it's the only thing there is, that sorta helps. It doesn't fully help, but it's better than nothing. And the withdrawals! Yikes. I have run out of it at different times, as I was out of refills and didn't realize it. So, I didn't have enough time to call the doctor's office and request the refill (and some times it can take daaaays for them to call it in!), before I ran out. The only way to describe what it feels like, is what I have heard of cancer patients that had sickness from Chemo.

For anyone that is wondering what in the world Fibromyalgia is, I'll try to define it. You can look it up in a Google search, and get so many different definitions. The best way to find out what it is, is to just talk to someone that has it! But, if you don't know anyone with it..

Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain disorder. Basically, for no reason, your body is constantly producing the pain hormone. So, if someone barely touches your shoulder, or shakes your hand too firmly, it can cause great pain. They say that someone gets it from some type of trauma. I know a woman that was in her late forties/early fifties who got it suddenly after a car accident. I think I possibly 'got' it, at the age of sixteen, when I came down with Chickenpox. I had never had it before, and they said it was dangerous for someone my age to get it. Sixteen sure didn't seem old to me, but apparently the older you get it, the more dangerous it is. So, that is possibly when this disease came about. But, I was in an abusive marriage before, with so much mental and emotional abuse, as well as some physical abuse. And many other traumatic things have happened throughout my life. So, it's hard to pinpoint.

Anyways, back to the definition. Fibromyalgia is labeled as a pain disorder, but that just does not do it justice! For those that have severe cases of it, it could easily be labeled a 'life-destroyer'. It causes such weakness, that even standing, or breathing, can seem too much. Just doing those simple things can just drain you to the point of collapsing. It makes you feel nauseated at times, from the intensity of the pain and discomfort. I am 27, and after only about two years of battling it, I feel more like 57. There are times I just can't do things. So, I have missed out on so much of both of my children's lives. 

Yes, Fibromyalgia has robbed me of so much of my life. It has stolen time and could-be memories from my eight year old. It has broken down so much of who I am. But in other ways.. it has been a blessing.

I now have more compassion for the suffering and hurting I see in others. I understand so much more about how hard life can be for those with diseases and disabilities. I am thankful for the things I can do. And it makes me not only willing to help others, but eager to.

I found this poem, and I thought it really expressed well the feelings that someone who is suffering, can well understand. Some of these words could be my own, they reflect so much of my feelings! The picture too, expresses the hope that is there. Even behind the dark cloud.

His name is Jesus.

******************************

I refuse to give into,

The pain that rages over me.

It holds me in it's tight grip,

And never lets me be.

Jesus will be my strength,

Not to succumb to this pain.

I know that God will heal me,

And my faith is not in vain.

I will always keep on trying,

To cope the best way I can.

Though I may not understand,

I accept it's part of God's plan.

I will find comfort in believing,

This pain I feel will not last.

Like many other trials in life,

This too, shall pass.

©Pamela Hall

An Introduction

I am a 27 year-old stay at home Mom.  I have two beautiful sons, whom I adore. Matthew is 8 years old. And the baby, Gabriel, is 21 months.

I am currently an Avon Indpt. Sales Rep., and will possibly be joining Mary Kay. I love art. I do work in various mediums. Some of these include: Poetry, art, and photography. I love to read. I am exactly what you would call a 'book-worm'! lol 

But now, the most important, precious part of my heart and my life-

Jesus.

One word. But, HUGE meaning! I have been saved for awhile now. I am trying very hard to raise our children in a godly way. God is the center of our heart and our life. What, and where, would we be, without Him?!

The point of this blog? To praise God, and hopefully show what He has done in my life. Because I have been through ALOT, and there is nooooo way I would be here without Him.

The reason for the name of this blog? Because in many ways, life is a treasure chest.. and the people and things we collect along the way, all get stored there. And, if you are as blessed as me, you find many jewels. Mine?

Jesus. Matthew. Gabriel.

And with them, I am far richer than I can EVER put into words.