Honestly Real

I’m weary of being expected to be perfect and neat. 

Because I am a Christian and trying to follow hard after Christ, you seem to think I SHOULD be perfect. 

Nothing could be further from the truth! 

My heart is dark, just like yours. 

My life is sometimes messy, just like yours.

The only difference is, I’m willing to cast off the pride that so easily wraps it’s tentacles around us, and ADMIT I need a Savior!

I struggle day to day, with trying to overcome my flaws and insecurities, just like anyone else.

I think people have a misconception of the Christian life. Of Christians, themselves. 

And perhaps that is our fault. 

We have struggles, but we don’t want to make Jesus look bad, so we HIDE our struggles. 

Although perhaps a noble intention, I believe we have done more damage than good!

I believe we have a hurting, spiritually dying world out there that needs the Truth- that life is NOT perfect, that’s why we NEED a Perfect Savior!

People are miserable.

Just be honest and admit it. 

You may have a few emotional highs when life “appears” to be going well- but then it all comes crashing down. 

How do I know?

Because it is the reality that we are ALL facing, living in a fallen world!!!

It’s so tempting to keep our eyes and on that, and let our hearts and minds be seduced by bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness and hate. 

I know. I daily battle that.

But that’s the difference.

CHRIST is the difference!

Yes, our world has become a cesspool of perversion and filth. 

BUT WE DON’T HAVE TO STAY THERE!

We can be IN the world, but not OF the world.

We can stand back and allow the Savior, Who died for our treacherous, unloyal, messed up souls, to fight our battles, OR we can try to fight them ourselves, and lose!

And along the way, reap destruction, broken relationships, insecurities, depression and pain.

No, the world isn’t all roses for Christians. 

I have a big, loud mouth (as many of you well know!). 

That is the product of my own poor choices and the travesty done to me by others. 

When you have physically been captive and in bondage at the hands of others, you soon learn your voice is the only thing you have to wield. 

And so, you use it. 

Being strong and opinionated are considered assets in this world. Especially as women. 

If that’s the case, I have rooms full of assets!

But I have learned they are worthless, empty idols.

I HAVE been jaded by this world.

Broken, bruised.

But what has made me PASSIONATE about Jesus Christ, is that He LOVES the broken and bruised. 

He already KNOWS how dark and messed up our minds, our hearts, are.. yet He loves us anyways! 

Why???? Why or how could He love us???!!

Because HE IS Goodness. 

He is your Creator.

Do YOU stop loving YOUR son or daughter, even after they disobey or go against you?

Of course not! Not if you truly love them.

They may hurt your heart, but you still love them.

HOW MUCH MORE, then, does the One Who MADE your heart, and it’s capacity to love YOUR child- be able to love YOU?

Think about that. 

You know you don’t deserve God’s grace.

I know I sure don’t!

NONE of us do.

That’s the incredible, simple beauty of it.

We think we are too blackened by sin for God to accept us. 

Satan and his demons constantly whisper in our ears that we can’t be good enough FOR God, so then we must be AGAINST God- because He MUST be against us.

Ah, that age old lie.

That he repeats from generation to generation.

Well, I am living proof that that is a lie straight from Hell itself.

If Jesus Christ picked ME up and loves me, He will love ANYONE!!

But don’t take my word, take HIS!

He says, “Come to Me, ALL YOU who are weary and heavy-laden, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.”

He treated thieves, prostitutes, people caught in adultery and worse- with gentleness, dignity and respect. He let them know He saw their sin, but He still loved and valued them!

He opens His arms and offers a new life, even though no one deserves it. 

How can you not love such a Man??!!

Even though I am unworthy and broken- Jesus is the Desire of my heart. 

I just wish everyone could find that Home.

Am I going to fail you? Yes, probably.

Just like your going to probably fail me.

Most have.

Most always will.

Because as long as we are alive in this world, the flesh is a constant companion that we must crucify, daily.

There is only ONE Who is Good.

Only One Who will NOT fail you or I.

His Name is Yeshua. Jesus the Christ.

Living Water

Wow.. as I sit here typing these words to you, I am in awe of how much time has gone by since my last post!!
When I last wrote, my Matthew was eight years old.. he is now almost eighteen!
Gabriel, the "baby".. is now almost eleven!
I am so shocked that so much time has gone by. So many things have changed.
I have loved. I have lost. I have gained.
I still struggle with my health, but I have grown in the Lord enough that I know that these trials and pains are but a moment in time, compared with unending joy that Christ has promised for those that belong to Him, in Eternity in the near future.
So in truth, how can I truly complain?
I take comfort in knowing that someday I will no longer remember physical or emotional pain.
It will fade away forever, once I see His Face.

Because of Christ's great mercy, I am in a better place as far as getting back to "me".
With so much trauma, starting at age three, it has been an incredibly long and often painful journey.
I have cried, screamed and ultimately questioned my value to Jesus.
But after all these 10 years, I am certain of one thing more than any other..
Jesus Christ is REAL. He is ALIVE. And He is FAITHFUL.
When all else fades away- all the glitter and distractions.. He is all that remains.
And for that, I am so humbled, so thankful.
He is all I need. All I want. He is all any of us need, and deep in our heart, all we want. 
That's why we are always on a quest to be happy, to be filled. 
Because we ARE hollow at our core.
We have a Jesus-sized hole that only He can fill.

So come.. I invite you.
Come, be filled and be satisfied by the Lover of your soul. 
The One Who made you, Who formed you into the beautiful human being you are.
He is the Wellspring!
Come, drink from the Everlasting Fountain of Water.
Let Him nourish, hydrate and permanently fill your weary soul, as only He can.❤

Jesus answered and said to her, 'If you knew the Gift of God, and Who it is that said to you, Give Me to drink; you would have asked of Him, and He would have given you Living Water."

The woman said to Him, "Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from where then have You that Living Water?
 Are You greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and drank there himself, and his children, and his cattle?"
 Jesus answered and said to her, "Whosoever drinks of this water shall thirst again:
But whosoever drinks of the Water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the Water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of Water springing up into everlasting Life."
 The woman said to Him, "Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not.."
(John 4:9-15)